Avoidance will sabotage your growth & healing.
Several years ago, right after my divorce, I finally reached a point where I could breathe again. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t in pure survival mode. I had walked through the shock, the paperwork, the packing, the selling of our home, the moving across state lines, and the difficult process of starting over in a brand-new community with my children.
And once the dust settled… something unexpected happened.
Instead of thriving, I felt burned out, especially on the very habits that had kept me grounded through the hardest season of my life. The things that were good for me suddenly felt exhausting. And slowly, almost quietly, I noticed myself slipping into behaviors and distractions that weren’t good for me at all.
That’s when avoidance started to creep in, not loudly, but subtly.
And looking back now, I can see that avoidance wasn’t just a phase.
It was sabotage.
When Avoidance Becomes a Sign of Overwhelm
Back then, I found myself avoiding the very things I knew helped keep me grounded. My spiritual habits, the ones that usually brought me clarity and peace, started slipping.
I remember writing:
“Do you ever just find yourself avoiding the things you know you need to do? I found myself on that train for a couple of weeks. I started taking my own spiritual health less seriously. Each day I felt myself becoming more disconnected and distracted. Then I could feel shame moving in.”
Avoidance wasn’t a lack of desire. It was a symptom of the weight I was carrying.
And shame, an emotion I hadn’t always been able to name, started to show up, too.
Part of my healing journey was learning to identify emotions I once didn’t have language for. Naming shame didn’t make it disappear, but it did keep it from taking over.
The Small Spiritual Habits That Helped Me Reconnect With God
During that season of healing after divorce, I had to make myself return to the practices that anchored me:
Gratitude journaling
Prayer time
Worship
Opening Scripture even when I didn’t feel like it
Moving my body to get out of my head with all the things weighing me down
These weren’t dramatic breakthrough moments. They were small, faithful steps. And honestly, they often felt uncomfortable.
I was wrestling with decisions that required new boundaries, deeper trust, and a willingness to step into the unknown. God was guiding me, but His guidance often meant leaving behind old patterns and stepping into unfamiliar territory.
What That Season Taught Me About Starting Over After Divorce
Looking back now, I can see this clearly:
The plans God had for me were too important to let distraction or avoidance slow me down.
Healing after divorce is rarely a straight line. It’s a series of tiny, quiet choices—showing up for yourself, choosing discipline over numbness, and being honest about what your heart needs.
Those small choices became part of the foundation I stand on today.
They strengthened me, stretched me, and drew me closer to God in ways comfort never could have.
Why I’m Sharing This Now
I’m not in that place anymore. God has healed and restored so many areas of my life since then. But I share this reflection because many women are currently where I once stood, trying to rebuild a life after divorce, reconnect with God, and find stability in the middle of overwhelming change.
If that’s you, please hear this:
Avoidance doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. And you can always begin again.
Sometimes the smallest spiritual habits, prayer, gratitude, silence, and structure, become the very tools God uses to carry you into the next chapter.
What past season of your life taught you the most about finding your strength and your faith again?
I’d love to hear your story.